Clergy Joker Gifts

Missing Parsons.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

A child interrupting family prayers

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'