Clergy Joker Gifts

Missing Parsons.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

A child interrupting family prayers

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."