Church Group Joker Gifts

"Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!"

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

Excommunicate Me.

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Missing Parsons.

'You sure know how to get under my Dad's skin.'

"Bless me, Father, for I have wind."

Crust is Risen! Pizza Nite

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

"I'm working from home today."

'I'm beginning to think our flock has discovered the grass is greener the other side of the fence...'

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

Priest and nun have a priest child.

"Do I come here often?"

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

Bishop rocking in his church.

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

"I gave at the office."

Sadly this is about as exciting as life gets for most cows...and some people.

"Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid."

"Cute George, now put the communion cups away so we can leave."

'Volunteer?! I thought you said come over and bring the beer!'

'Watch the expression on Helen's face when I throw this.'

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

'Do you offer cloud storage?'

'I was once teetotal, it was the worst two hours of my life!'

"Being the rookie on the offering team. Bill was assigned to count the coins."

'First things first. Before we nail a solution, we have to pin a little blame.'

Can we use the buddy system and just keep five commandments each?