Church Group Joker Pillows

"Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!"

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

Excommunicate Me.

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Missing Parsons.

'You sure know how to get under my Dad's skin.'

Crust is Risen! Pizza Nite

"I'm working from home today."

"Do I come here often?"

Priest and nun have a priest child.

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

'I'm beginning to think our flock has discovered the grass is greener the other side of the fence...'

Bishop rocking in his church.

Sadly this is about as exciting as life gets for most cows...and some people.

"I gave at the office."

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

"Cute George, now put the communion cups away so we can leave."

"Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid."

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

'Volunteer?! I thought you said come over and bring the beer!'

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

'Watch the expression on Helen's face when I throw this.'

'I was once teetotal, it was the worst two hours of my life!'

'Do you offer cloud storage?'

'First things first. Before we nail a solution, we have to pin a little blame.'

"Being the rookie on the offering team. Bill was assigned to count the coins."