Community Joker Pillows

'Volunteer?! I thought you said come over and bring the beer!'

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

"Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid."

"Just because we share a small group does not obligate me to loan you $20."

Fittd shēt

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Prisoner still life painting.

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'