Clergy Having Fun Gifts

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

A child interrupting family prayers

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"