Clergy Life Gifts

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

A child interrupting family prayers

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper