Clergymen Gifts

True Humility - Curate's Egg.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Staff support"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"...until death do you a favor."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

A child interrupting family prayers

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"