Clergyman Gifts

'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

True Humility - Curate's Egg.

"Sometimes I wonder if we haven't carried ecumenism a bit too far."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'My doctor advised me to exercise religiously.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

When Clergymen have those 'round the water cooler' conversations.

Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'

"And I was most disappointed with last sunday's offertory."

"You won't believe how many Frisbees are up here!"

"Good sermon, Reverend, but all that God stuff was pretty far-fetched."

"The trustees feel the Reverend Dr. Clapsattle does not harmonize with the edifice."

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

Two boys fishing in a river.

Footman and groom talk about the rector's weight in horse terms

Our pew in church

Gardener misunderstands the phrase 'forty-love'.

A friar

'No, I've got plenty of time to talk Brenda. This guy's not going anywhere.'

'It's okay - I'm a PUNK monk.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

Clergyman prays for divine intervention.

Bishop sprinkling holy water on his potted plants.

'I don't understand. I haven't done anything to encourage them...'

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

Easter bunny

"Why all the questions? Just get on with it."

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these non-cathedral ceilings."

"I don't mind getting married for better or for worse as long as it's not a whole lot worse."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"