Cleric Gifts

"Please, Lord, enough already."

Desmond Tutu.

"It was a gift from god."

Monk at desk, trays on desk read INETH and OUTETH.

St. Peter's Car Park - Pray and Display.

"Straighten up that tonsure."

"For what we were about to receive has been postponed."

A friar

'Dear, here's de cantor you asked for, but he swears he doesn't know a thing about aerating wine.'

Bishop with a crozier case.

Monk

Easter bunny

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Curate and vicar talking about W. G. Grace.

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

"Look out: there is one of those drones!"

"Canon, I'm afraid the time has come for you to be fired!"

"They're intercessors, Richard, not middlemen."

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

Bishops Snooker

'...and another thing, Holy Father, do we call them the 'Falklands' or the 'Malvinas'?'

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'You know me Dave. I'm just an ordinary, white-collar kinda guy.'

'Hurry this note to the abbot.'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

Chicken nesting in a monk's head.

Elderly religious cleric takes stair lift up the temple.

"Staff support"

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

"Ever worked out how much we have saved over the years by not having to buy trousers?"

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

"In order to cut down on clerical errors, I've brought in an expert."