Clergy Enthusiast Gifts

'Look, Mom! A white-collar criminal!'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

A child interrupting family prayers

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."