Clergy Enthusiast Gifts

'Look, Mom! A white-collar criminal!'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

A child interrupting family prayers

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."