Ecclesiastical Enthusiast Gifts

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Noah's ark, many lions

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

The ten ammendments

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Honk if you're holy.

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

"Hallelujah!"

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'