Christian Enthusiast Gifts

You are invited to Jesus The Launch Party.

Baptism by fire, baptism by water.

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Priest

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Noah's ark, many lions

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

Pre-nuptual Nativity

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

The Pope Code

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'