Church Enthusiasts Gifts

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

This Sunday: Bobble-head give-away!

"Since you tithed from the 'net' and not the 'gross', you're going to Hog Heaven instead."

"Your sermon started out strong, then it got a little slow and I nodded off."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"That's our new church mascot."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Pope Francis

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Vicar

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

Ding and Dong.

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Love in Church

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

Please follow safe worship practices.

Peter makes another attempt to go to Jesus.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers