Church Community Enthusiasts Gifts

"Why do we have to sit here? Couldn't we just sell these cookies online?"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"That's our new church mascot."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Pope Francis

Vicar

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Please follow safe worship practices.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

Garage sale.

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."