Christianity Enthusiasts Gifts

Why God created Humans - "Adam, pull my finger!"

"I would get baptized, but I have a strange fear of water."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"Hallelujah!"

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Promised Land Signpost

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Worst. God. Ever.

The Pope Code

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

Honk if you're holy.

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'