Christian Faith Enthusiast Gifts

"Uh Oh! Looks like you're being un-friended."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"What did Jesus order?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."