Evangelical Enthusiast Gifts

Praise My Dad...

'We can count on the Christian right, but what about the Christian left?'

"Before buying one, I thump it good!"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

Ten Commandments

Noah's ark, many lions

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

"What did Jesus order?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.