Evangelical Enthusiast Gifts

Praise My Dad...

'We can count on the Christian right, but what about the Christian left?'

"Before buying one, I thump it good!"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Ten Commandments

The ecumenical dinner party.

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

Christian and Born again Christian...

Noah's ark, many lions

"What did Jesus order?"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"