Gospel Enthusiast Gifts

Religious man watching religious TV

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

'I know he's got a bum report card when he comes in singing 'Nearer my God to Thee'.'

"Woah! I haven't read it yet. Spoilers!"

The Post-Resurrection Years.

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Ten Commandments

The First Printed Bible

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Noah's ark, many lions

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

Meet the Author

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Sermon Applause.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Rocket Ark

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."