Gospel Lover Gifts

'The pipe organ costs a hundred and ten thousand. Four music stands for Ed's Gospel Quartet, eighty five fifty. Discussion.'

Little Richard

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Little Known Moments In History

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

Male On Sunday

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'It helps with reception.'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

And then a voice came down from the Lord...

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

'No more Mr. Nice Guy...'

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

'Do you have any coupons?'

'Good Cholesterol Vs. Bad Cholesterol'

Don't Walk on the Water