Gospel Lover Gifts

'The pipe organ costs a hundred and ten thousand. Four music stands for Ed's Gospel Quartet, eighty five fifty. Discussion.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

Male On Sunday

'It helps with reception.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

And then a voice came down from the Lord...

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'No more Mr. Nice Guy...'

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

'Good Cholesterol Vs. Bad Cholesterol'