Gospel Readers Gifts

"Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter. John you are out of order again."

Jesus was banned from all future fishing tournaments

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Ten Commandments

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Noah's ark, many lions

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"I have an app for that."

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Noah posted his first tweet.

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Little Richard

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."