Gospel Readers Pillows

"Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter. John you are out of order again."

Jesus was banned from all future fishing tournaments

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Ten Commandments

Christian and Born again Christian...

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Noah's ark, many lions

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"I have an app for that."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

Pastoring for Dummies