Worship Enthusiast Gifts

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Ministers: regular and TV.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Praying mantis.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Attila the Nun.

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'