Religion Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Moses' Reading Glasses

'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'

'Are they civil or criminal?'

'Peas be with you...Next!'

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

''Ten Commandments' sounds too stuffy. How about God for Dummies?'

"Must I sacrifice family for career?"

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

'Darn -- I forgot to ask Him if the Sabbath is Saturday or Sunday!'

"Darned large print version…."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

Religious TV

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"What does God do with all that prayer data?"

"Fantastic crucifix."

'Wow! Has it been nearly 500 years since Luther tacked his paper to the church door!'

Bible Vending Machine.

Biblical Convenience Stores

'First, we'll have to form a committee to study the impact this will have on the economy.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Be careful with these, they're not laminated yet."

'You'd better put them in the form of specific commandments - They don't work well without supervision.'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided that the old-time religion is good enough for us.'

Opus Dei-care.

'How come you don't wear all that bling like the Pope does?'

Noah jumps the gun...and brings down three commandments.

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

3 Kings - "I think nappies would have been more useful than Frakinsense."

'But everybody does that stuff!'

Jesus Saves

'Hey ? this isn't one of those self-improvement scams, is it?'

"Thou shalt not create graven images, Ira. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain. Still looking at you, Ira. Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath. You getting this, Ira?"