Religion Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Moses' Reading Glasses

'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

'Peas be with you...Next!'

'Are they civil or criminal?'

"Must I sacrifice family for career?"

"Darned large print version…."

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

''Ten Commandments' sounds too stuffy. How about God for Dummies?'

'Darn -- I forgot to ask Him if the Sabbath is Saturday or Sunday!'

"Fantastic crucifix."

"What does God do with all that prayer data?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Religious TV

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

"How's my praying?"

"Thou shalt not create graven images, Ira. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain. Still looking at you, Ira. Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath. You getting this, Ira?"

'You'd better put them in the form of specific commandments - They don't work well without supervision.'

'First, we'll have to form a committee to study the impact this will have on the economy.'

Noah jumps the gun...and brings down three commandments.

Jesus Saves

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'How come you don't wear all that bling like the Pope does?'

'Hey ? this isn't one of those self-improvement scams, is it?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Wow! Has it been nearly 500 years since Luther tacked his paper to the church door!'

'But everybody does that stuff!'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided that the old-time religion is good enough for us.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Bible Vending Machine.

"Be careful with these, they're not laminated yet."

3 Kings - "I think nappies would have been more useful than Frakinsense."