Religion And Spirituality Enthusiast Gifts

"Celibate! I said celibate! Not celebrate!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"What did Jesus order?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Chill Out Worshippers!

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

"Hallelujah!"

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

Honk if you're holy.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

Attila the Nun.

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."