Religious Culture Enthusiast Gifts

Movers and Shakers

'Yes, all at once!'

Nun Fight.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"What did Jesus order?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

Pope Benedict 16th.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

Attila the Nun.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"He changed water into wine!"

"Hallelujah!"

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Honk if you're holy.

"The last doggy bag."

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

They're missing a few commandments.