Religious Aficionado Gifts

Saint Franchise of Assisi

Nun Fight.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"What did Jesus order?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Pope Benedict 16th.

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

Attila the Nun.

Honk if you're holy.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"Hallelujah!"

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

They're missing a few commandments.

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'What would you say if I told you there's a way to fit all of that on just one tablet?'