Religion Aficionado Gifts

Moses Awaits The Word Of God

'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'

'Uh, guys....we have to go back, I forgot the Myrrh.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

The Israelites Create a Golden Calf

'I'll let your people go as soon as they've performed their community service.'

"The trustees feel the Reverend Dr. Clapsattle does not harmonize with the edifice."

Plagues

Pope Benedict 16th.

Moses to Israelites: 'I assure you they're in high def.'

Abimélech

'But, if we follow these rules, we'll stick out like a sore thumb!'

'Felonious Monk.'

"Take two tablets and call me in the morning."

'Of course, there are a lot more implied powers.'

'Are You sure I should give them all ten at once?'

"Last orders" "No, Holy orders"

They're missing a few commandments.

God shackled.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just download them?"

Nun Fight.

Pope Francis claims he was never a right-winger.

A Distinction

Sweater Vestment.

"I guess ten is enough."

A Miracle! Bible signed by Trump heals itself.

"It is wonderful here. Except that I'm always in dread of gypsy moths and—since I'm not Jewish—frogs, vermin, flies, blood, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and the slaying of my first born."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What did Jesus order?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'