Religion Aficionado Gifts

Moses Awaits The Word Of God

'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'

'Uh, guys....we have to go back, I forgot the Myrrh.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

The Israelites Create a Golden Calf

'I'll let your people go as soon as they've performed their community service.'

"The trustees feel the Reverend Dr. Clapsattle does not harmonize with the edifice."

Plagues

Pope Benedict 16th.

Moses to Israelites: 'I assure you they're in high def.'

Abimélech

'But, if we follow these rules, we'll stick out like a sore thumb!'

'Felonious Monk.'

"Take two tablets and call me in the morning."

"Hold up - I have to read the legal disclaimer."

'Of course, there are a lot more implied powers.'

'Are You sure I should give them all ten at once?'

"Last orders" "No, Holy orders"

They're missing a few commandments.

God shackled.

'No, they're not the same rules they read before a boxing match.'

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just download them?"

"How'd you manage to get so many tickets?"

Nun Fight.

Pope Francis claims he was never a right-winger.

A Distinction

Sweater Vestment.

The fish gets smaller every time Jonah tells this tale.

"I guess ten is enough."

A Miracle! Bible signed by Trump heals itself.

"It is wonderful here. Except that I'm always in dread of gypsy moths and—since I'm not Jewish—frogs, vermin, flies, blood, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and the slaying of my first born."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"