Christian Enthusiast Pillows

You are invited to Jesus The Launch Party.

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Priest

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Noah's ark, many lions

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."