Clergy Life Fan Gifts

'Just the one -the Bishop has tagged my collar I'm afraid!'

Lazy Octopus

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

"...but, seriously..."

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.

'This isn't either a fad! -- It's a major breakthrough!'

"They fired me...but how was I to know that human businesses don't hunt and eat their clients??"

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"Now you've done it!"

'You're under my supervision now, principal Hodgkins!'

Canine Frat Parties

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

"School is loverly this time of year."

"You come from a long line of stay-at-home dads: What makes you think you have what it takes to branch out?"

"I'd like to thank...."

"I don't care how quickly it gets them to bed, I still don't like it."

Wedding with 'Ex-wives' and 'Ex-husbands' as places to sit.

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

'We'll never get a table - it's a frenzy in there tonight.'

You're being extradited to your parents.

'Make a wish!' 'The first star! Make a wish!'

"Damn! These glasses are useless. . ."

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

Pull yer shells up, ya whippersnappers!

Dog Outhouse

'See what I mean, Martha? There's just no respect anymore.'

The Non-erotic Adventures of Patty Williams

Vespers were about to get a lot more interesting.