Clergyperson Gifts

'I don't make the rules, folks -- I just carry them down the mountain.'

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

Pound sign in a stained glass window of a church.

'I see it as a response to flood warnings.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Staff support"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'T.M.I.F.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

37 years in the same position.

Storm in the out tray

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Morning, all!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'