Clergy On Holiday Gifts

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

A child interrupting family prayers

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"