Joining The Ministry Gifts

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

No Elgar!

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Night-time halo

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Theorbo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'