Comedic Canine Keeper Gifts

'It doesn't look good. I'm a guard dog. They caught me off guard.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

"We're in for the night."

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'