Comedic Canine Caretaker Gifts

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'I'll be your best friend, but nothing kinky.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You wish, Timmy.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'I'm sorry, we did all we could, but she had a severe case of curiosity.'

'Well, it wasn't me.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Holy S**t!'

"He's busy exercising the goldfish at the moment.

'Clown fish ... '

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"We're in for the night."