Comedic Pup Lover Gifts

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

The Rolling Bones

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'You wish, Timmy.'

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

"We're in for the night."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

'What am I blind, Bob?'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'