Comedic Pup Lover Pillows

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

The Rolling Bones

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

"We're in for the night."

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

'What am I blind, Bob?'

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).