Comedic Pet Enthusiast Gifts

"It appears that your dog has a rather well established colony of fleas."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Gatorade!

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"We're in for the night."

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'