Comedic Animal Lover Gifts

'Holy S**t!'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"I understand you spent the summer on someone's ass. Can you tell us what that was like?"

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"It's not always funny in the land of milk and honey."

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

Pampered Pets.

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

The Rolling Bones

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'You wish, Timmy.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

"We've been wearing our jackets wrong all these years."

'Clown fish ... '

'The last thing I knew he was on a plane to an obedience school in Omaha!'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"We're in for the night."

'What am I blind, Bob?'