Comedic Pet Lover Gifts

Dog dreaming of dog can can dancers.

"We're in for the night."

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Security?'

'It's just not fair! Now that he's joined the gym, he's too tired to go on walks with me...'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

The Rolling Bones

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

'You wish, Timmy.'

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'What am I blind, Bob?'