Comedic Canine Aficionado Gifts

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"Ladies and gentlemen. . . .this dog has been chosen to host the next flea olympics. Fleas from every country will compete, and record attendance is expected."

"Pick me!"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Literary Canines.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

'They sure have small litters.'

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

'We'll take it!'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

Know your dog - The brain.

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"We like it, but we suggest you change the title to 'The Canine Mutiny'."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

'If we're man's best friend, why don't we have indoor bathroom facilities like the cat?'

'Pastry sniffing canine corporation' entering a 'Diet clinic dormitory'.

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

Angry Dog Tattoo

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

'The two most depressing comments one can hear...'

"I wish I could get him to relax."

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

Dog chasing people up a tree and keeping score.