Comedic Canine Aficionado Gifts

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"Pick me!"

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

Literary Canines.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'They sure have small litters.'

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

'We'll take it!'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

Know your dog - The brain.

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"We like it, but we suggest you change the title to 'The Canine Mutiny'."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Pastry sniffing canine corporation' entering a 'Diet clinic dormitory'.

'If we're man's best friend, why don't we have indoor bathroom facilities like the cat?'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

Angry Dog Tattoo

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You wish, Timmy.'

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

"So, are you folks dog people?"

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

Beware of Dogs

'The two most depressing comments one can hear...'