Comedic Canine Companion Gifts

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Diving Cat.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

'You wish, Timmy.'

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Holy S**t!'

"You bring the tequila, and I'll bring the Lyme."

"We're in for the night."

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).