Comedic Canine Companion Gifts

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Diving Cat.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

He Did It!

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

Tony's dog always brought him to his slippers.

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"We're in for the night."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'