Comedic Pet Pal Gifts

Dating app for dogs

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

The Rolling Bones

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'You wish, Timmy.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

"We're in for the night."

'Whoa! Slow down, kids! Your mom will neuter me if I bring you home with stomachaches from eating too much of that junk.'

"I wish you had a convenient carrying handle."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

Free Range Cow

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

'What am I blind, Bob?'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'