Comedic Canine Keeper T-Shirts

'It doesn't look good. I'm a guard dog. They caught me off guard.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

He Did It!

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You wish, Timmy.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

"We're in for the night."

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

'Hey, knucklehead! You're standing on my tale!'