Clarity Connoisseur Gifts

"No, Mr. Jones. It's only 20/20 vision if you read it from the seat, back there."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

The latest in Eyewear.

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

Satis Factory Tour

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

PODs Venn Diagram

Duelling personalities.

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

Joke traffic signs.

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

Eye Doctors. Sport Psychologists. Reception. Which focus group are you here for today?

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

'I have no idea what you are saying.'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

Tweet from this retreat . . you are toast

Jake's Joke Shop. Use Next Door. Use Next Door.

Nethead strip: Problem of nature, no contrast control

Radical Think Tank