Confidence Connoisseur Gifts

Chutzpah, $1.

"I admire the confident stride of a man who knows where he's going."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

'He's got the sang froid of a man with twice his money.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

S**t Threw a Goose

Satis Factory Tour

Agency Moody's comments

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

Confession Ratings.

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

'That's what I like about the Big Guy - he's usually wrong, but he's never in doubt.'

'I'm impressed by your self-confidence. What other skills do you have?'

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"I've been to all his weddings."

Businessman has credit IV.

'...I'm the only one here who's outrageously high opinion of themselves is actually justified.'

Computer gives thumbs down to loan application.

Tweet from this retreat . . you are toast