Confidence Aficionado Gifts

This is the new business range, 'confidence'.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Jack in the Box

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

How Gary got his groove back.

The Surly Yoof

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'Does what's left of my bum look big in that?'

'I'm impressed by your self-confidence. What other skills do you have?'

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

'...I'm the only one here who's outrageously high opinion of themselves is actually justified.'

'That's what I like about the Big Guy - he's usually wrong, but he's never in doubt.'

Chicken Affirmations

"Why are you smiling?"

I do like people taking an affirmative posture.

"Why come to me? I'm only a humble doctor. You should see a healthcare provider."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"Your credit score is lower than your golf score, even with your handicap."

"You'll notice that I was born in 1968—a very prestigious year."

"I've always felt that what's good for me is good for the group"

The meek shall inherit the earth

"I am Baldonator, the meanest fighter around! No one dares mess with me."

Just in from St. Paul.

"Studly"?

Ashley the Approval Seeker