Success Aficionado Gifts

"I've succeeded through brains, diligence, and I guess a little luck."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Boom

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

They get into debt so fast these days...

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

Great Poets of Catalogdom

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

Branding Consultant

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"P.J. is right. 'Rock solid financial product' does sound better than 'contrived get rich quick scheme.'"

You've done it again, Harry.

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."