Fortune Aficionado Gifts

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Primitive magician

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Swiss army knife

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Stock market investment advice

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

Save the unicorn.

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Stonehenge Explained

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'