Fortune Aficionado Pillows

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Primitive magician

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Swiss army knife

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Stock market investment advice

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Stonehenge Explained

Save the unicorn.

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

The burden of carrying the Euro.