Fortune Enthusiast Pillows

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Madame Astra spiritualist' door 'Please ring, knocking only confuses'

'My fortune cookie says, 'invest in cnooc oil of China, and you'll be rewarded.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'And right here they merged...'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Gambling on office building construction

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Your Palm

Tombola Winner

'The cards say 'buy' but the tea leaves say 'sell'.'

'Do you have clothes for winning the lottery?'

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

'What a twist of fate!'

'The red phone is my grapevine to Andrea Mitchenll, who hears it firsthand from Alan Greenspan, who hears it first from Ben Bernanke.'

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'